MILFs, DILFs, and flirting on WIOW

so we spent part of the weekend on the beach this past holiday, like millions of others in the USA. yep, we live on the edge. ;) it really struck me though how many really hot MILFs were out this weekend. is it just me, or is all this emphasis on looks having it's effect, especially on hot moms? I mean, the moms were out in force and looking sexy. in fact, I found myself flirting with several of them since I was keeping an eye on the munchkin in the surf, while they watched their offspring. not that I consider myself a DILF, since I don't want to fuck myself, lol, but we did have some fun.

in case there is someone out there, yes, one of the three who sometimes read this blog and don't know what a MILF or DILF is, I'll explain. not to insult anyone's intelligence, since it is a fairly obscure term born of the internet. MILF = mom I'd like to fuck. yeah, there are a couple of letters missing, work with me here. and DILF is the dad version.

so, is it just me, or is there way more sexual innuendo and flirting amongst married folks? is it a safe way to bring some excitement into otherwise happy marriages? I mean, Mrs. Dredd doesn't worry much about me straying, but it is really exciting to flirt, isn't it?

there's one thing I have noticed though, there are a lot of people in desperate need of a good fuck or two. I mean really!!! hell, I'm one of them. at least I admit it. I mean, with all the stress in our lives these past few weeks, and for those of you that know me beyond just this blog can attest, we got a lot of shit going on. so it's understandable why it's been about a week since our last episode……. ;)

but seriously, there are a lot of people, some who even read this blog and will probably admit it themselves, who really, really need a good fuck. and I don't mean from a battery-operated boyfriend (BOB), with a real live person…

so, back to the beach, there was this one MILF who kept giving me that look, partly smiling at my efforts to keep my munchkin from drowning, and partly the "let's go find a sand dune, you and me" look. it was hot. it made my whole friggin day, to be honest. not that there was any chance of actually sneaking off, but fuck, it was hot just knowing she might be interested. (some eyecandy for some of the bi and lesbian readers...)


women, yes you, pay attention… YOU have the power to make the world a better place. just fucking flirt with some unexpecting guy. I mean, really flirt, make him think it could actually, possibly happen. do it someplace safe, a coffee shop, Walmart, I don't care, just be safe. but trust me on this, that guy will spend the rest of the day on cloud nine.

and if you have a significant other, try this, some morning, roll over and give him a blowjob before he even knows what hit him. I mean, a real blowjob, a pornstar blowjob!!!! act like you actually enjoy it. act like you actually adore his dick. and sucking it means more than life itself to you. and no, you don't have to swallow if you don't want to. but don't act like he just spewed toxic waste on you when he does cum. fuck, it will come out in the wash. sheesh. let him cum on your tits, rub it in, whatever gets him off. trust me, he'll be more attentive and will do anything you want. as long as you do it without him having to ask or beg. by the way, the best blowjob i ever got was from someone who didn't swallow, so it's not as important as you think.

in the long run, ladies, he will treat you better, like the queen you deserve to be treated as. yes, it may take a few applications, but once you program him to think that he may just get another treat, he'll be so much more attentive. yes, it's fucking Pavlovian, but hey, you always tell us what animals we are. ;)

but the secret is to act like you actually enjoy it and just want to give him pleasure. after all, you're doing it for yourself in the long-term… ;) most marriages get stale because we stop acting like we actually enjoy each other. remember those dating sex sessions in the back of the car when you were 16 or 17, if you haven't given your mate a good groping like that in, say, the last 10 years, ask yourself, why the fuck not?

and as soon as next week is over, Mrs. Dredd is in for the sex of a lifetime. (yeah, I know, it's bullshit, it'll probably be over in 15 minutes, but that's how I'll see it).


so here's the WIOW pic. it was one of the first nude pics I ever took. it was just before one of the most intense orgasms I've ever had. I guess this is me whipping it out both literally and proverbially. and for anyone who thinks, ewww, if you can't admit to masturbating and can't enjoy an orgasm for what it is, we need to talk. ;)

so, if you take my bit of advice and it works, let me know. if it doesn't, let me know. and if you end up having to sneak off at some point today to "rub one out" as they say, definitely let me know, hehe. yes, I think it's really hot!!!

Under Construction

this week is a short week, due to the holiday, which means that my boss will try to cram 5 days worth of bullshit into 4. i will try to post something much more fun later today, for the two or three of you who will actually read this, LOL. hope everyone had a great weekend. i did a lot of MILF-watching and i'll post a story and pics later, i hope.

WIOW

no cool fonts or colors, no links or video. just JD's dick in living color. *yawn!!*

My Blog Sucks

yeah, i know i stole the line from Lucky Seven, but mine really does. sheesh. i look at these other hot blogs with colors, different fonts, highlights, links, video, audio... sheesh mine sucks big donkey balls. hell, most of the time i can't even be bothered to capitalize. i barely have time to come up with anything witty. and most of you have seen me nekkid, as BB King would put it, "THE THRILL IS GONE..." oh well, hope all of you are having a wonderful week. my week's actually been pretty good, just busy. so please excuse me if it takes me a while to reply back. i do want you to know i will reply back though. it's the least i can do for anyone who takes the time to leave a comment. :) and this is the closest to a bicep pic i have for Cherry. i know, lame, just like the rest of the blog. :)

Jokes to start off the Week

no, it's not a pic of me... sheesh, although that would be pretty funny. ;) i'm often told how funny i am, and i always reply, "hey, looks aren't everything." but these are real jokes that help explain the love/hate relationship men have with women. i, for one, adore women. i have 4 in my house at this time, so i guess i better. having said that, wtf is up with you women? sheesh. forget PMS, that explains a week out of the month, what's up with the other twenty-some days? i say much of that in jest, since i couldn't imagine not having my wife and girls in my life. but every so often i spend just a weekend with my son, and the friggin drama almost totally disappears. so, to make light of the situation, i'll post two jokes that somewhat explain how men feel about women... ;)

Joke 1:

A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried your best to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."

The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."

The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."

The biker thought about it for a long time.

Finally he said, "Lord, I want to know what a woman feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."

The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"


Joke 2: (Read this with all the emphasis denoted by the text)

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday - Woohoo

it's the big anniversary. nothing witty, just the pic. i figure i waste enough of your time with my miscellaneous rants and ravings... :)

here's the link to my first HNT post, to go along with the rules for this anniversary. wouldn't want to piss of Osbasso, hehe. :)

http://cfnmfun.blogspot.com/2006_03_01_cfnmfun_archive.html



yep, it's the dreaded yellow towel again, this time in B&W though. :)

WIOW Again?

This week is really flying. I thought I'd change it up a little though, instead of whipping it out physically, I would whip it out emotionally. I mean, you must all be getting pretty sick by now of seeing what henceforth shall be referred to as Mr. Happy. I mean, come on, if you've seen him once, you must feel like you've seen him a thousand times. Enough already.

But how often do you see a guy open up his inner thoughts so unabashedly? We tend to internalize everything, unlike women. The differences are staggering, but make for really fun arguments, LOL.

Okay, I've wanted to share this for so long, but have always kept it inside. The feelings are really starting to overtake me now. This desire has been building for quite a while now. From my first glimpse, I knew I had to have her. Yes, I believe in love at first sight. Well, she had me at hello. *Tear*

Lately, I find myself not being able to think about anything else. I've even confessed to Mrs. Dredd. At first she was really pissed, we've had many arguments over this. I throw every emotional reason at her, and she counters with plain reason. Damn her.

But I can't help myself. She's so beautiful. I just want to touch her, stroke her, feel her responding to my every caress. I just know that we'd be great together. I've even gone as far as to tell Mrs. Dredd that she could accept it or leave. I know even in Utah polygamy isn't really legal anymore, but if there's any reasonable argument for it, this would be it.

I know some will be disappointed that I would stoop so low as to forsake the woman I swore to love until death do us part. What can I say other than, up yours. :)

I'm buying me a fucking Ducati, that's all that's to it. Mrs. Dredd can accept it or I'll just not get one. Yeah, I know, I'm a pussy. No, fuck it, I'm getting one anyway. I'll use the "honey, she gets such great gas mileage, we'll save money" routine. And if that fails, I'll buy Mrs. Dredd that house she's been wanting. Half a million dollar house for a $7K bike. Sounds fair to me. ;)

Edit: Please click on the pic to see it full size to really appreciate the beauty of the bike. The Ducati Monster is called a "naked" bike, due to the lack of fairings obstructing the view of the frame and engine. You know I had to get naked into this post somehow, LOL.

Repost of a CFNM Experience I had

My Blog has morphed so much, some of you wonder why it is called what I titled it. Well, I'm one of those few weirdos who likes looking in the archives for stuff, but many don't, so I thought I'd repost this story to help illustrate CFNM. Hope you like it. And yes, it actually happened, to ME. ;)


"Thank you Lisa"

By Sam French ©

I had stopped by the food court in the mall to grab lunch before going back to work. That’s where I met her, selling jewelry from one of those temporary stands. She was blonde, tall, and very pretty but what struck me immediately was the intelligent look about her and how professional she was in the presentation of her wares.

I was mesmerized and ended up "looking" at her jewelry, buying a really nice 14K necklace for my mom.

I found myself not wanting to leave, and since she wasn't very busy, we were able to strike up quite a conversation. I discovered she was only in town for a week, traveling around the area, selling her jewelry at different malls.

She told me she was staying at a local motel, giving me the impression she wanted to see me again. I asked if she was busy that night and she said no. I told her I'd call her that evening after work.

I called Lisa around 8 pm.

"Hi Lisa, remember me? Short, dark, and gruesome."

Her laugh was refreshing as she answered, "Hi JD, how could I forget? I was hoping you'd call. It's pretty boring in the motel. Are you coming over?"

"Of course I am. I'll be there in about twenty minutes."

She must have been waiting at the door because it opened as soon as I knocked.

She looked even more stunning than she had earlier. She was 5'9" and a tight 34C-24-34 with shoulder-length blonde hair.

Her smile let me know I was definitely welcome.

After some small talk about the motel room and her day, she sat down on the bed while I settled into the lone armchair. From her bubbly manner, I could tell she really must've been thrilled to have any kind of company. We talked more about her job and then she just stopped and got quiet.

"JD, I want you to know that I'm separated. I've been married for eighteen months but things aren't working out."

"Okay Lisa, that's cool. I'm sorry things aren't working out for you, but someone as wonderful as you should have no problem finding a great guy."

It was the only thing I could think of, what do you say to news like that?

Lisa looked at me for what seemed like an eternity, maybe trying to discern if I was sincere or just trying to make her feel better. I guess she thought I was sincere, since a faint smile washed across her face before she looked down on the bed next to her and patted it softly with her hand.

I got up and sat down next to her.

We both leaned towards each other and kissed, tentatively at first, then a bit more urgently.

We could feel the temperature rise in the room as the kisses became more passionate. I couldn't get enough of her soft lips as our tongues danced in each other's mouths. She felt great, just soft enough to be feminine, yet very firm, like an athlete. I kissed my way down her neck as I unbuttoned the blouse she was wearing. She offered no resistance as I pulled it off, leaving her in her jeans and bra. I continued kissing all around her upper body, nibbling on the swells of her breasts that spilled over the cups of her white lace.

"Oh JD," she moaned softly into my ear.

She ran her hands through my hair, pressing my lips into her flesh.

I undid the front clasp of her bra and watched in amazement as it fell away. Her breasts were the perfect size, capped by dollar size areolas and pert nipples. I kissed each breast several times before drawing her right nipple into my mouth while squeezing her left breast with my right hand.

She could tell I was excited as my hard cock pressed against her thigh. She lifted her knee to slide it between my legs, rhythmically rubbing my crotch.

I kissed her perfectly smooth tummy before unbuttoning her jeans. She inhaled sharply as my lips found the tender spot below her navel. With butterfly kisses, I traced the top seam of her white silk panties as I pushed her jeans down her long, firm thighs. Her tan was flawless and the white lines made her body even more appealing.

I was burning up but Lisa wasn't making any effort to take off my clothes. Not wanting to spoil the mood, I went back to licking her all over. I kissed down her right leg, pulling off her sock as I got to her foot. I then kissed my way back up the inside of her leg, stopping only to breathe lightly on her panty-covered crotch. I could already feel the sweet heat rising off her mound. I continued kissing down her left leg along the top, taking off her sock, and then kissing her foot before licking and nibbling my way back up to her pussy.

"Please JD, eat me, do it now."

The pressure of her hands on my head enforced her plea, as I traced the outlines of her lips through the translucent material. She was definitely wet as she squirmed against my mouth. I grabbed the sides of her panties as she lifted her hips, helping me slide them off.

Her pussy was as perfect as the rest of her. Her neatly trimmed bush barely covered the pink lips that were beginning to open up from the swelling of tissue. I again traced the outlines of her lips and bush with my tongue, making sure to stay away from her pink inner labia. I could tell it was having the desired effect on Lisa as her sweet ass was squirming on the bed. Her breathing was shallow as she ran her hands through my hair, trying to get me to her sweet spot.

She looked so sexy with a sheen of light perspiration making her skin glisten, while her breasts rose and fell with each breath. The noisy air conditioner barely kept up with the rising temperature in the room, although the blowing air did make her nipples stiffen even more. Her chest looked like two ice cream sundaes with cherries on them, making me desire her even more.

I dove into her pussy with earnest this time, driving my tongue into her inner reaches as she arched her back and ass clear off the bed. She let out a gasp followed by a deep moan before clamping her legs around my head as she made sure I did not move from that spot. I could hear nothing and saw stars, but I was damned if I was going to stop what I was doing.

I grabbed her ass cheeks with both hands, holding her up while jabbing my tongue into her tight pussy. I knew she must not have had it for a while, since she was as tight as a teenager. I could tell she was beginning to cum, as she pushed hard against my tongue with her crotch, squeezing my head even more.

After a few minutes, she relaxed enough to unclench her legs. It was at this point that she realized what she'd been doing as she sat up to hold my face in her hands, kissing her juices off my cheeks, lips and chin.

In between licks, she was apologizing profusely, asking if she had hurt me. I could only laugh, telling her if I was hurt, I hadn't noticed.

She continued to kiss me, making me forget any possible pain I may have felt.

Suddenly she stood up and started to gather her clothes.

At first I thought she was just getting them out of the way, but then she pulled on her panties, her pants, clasped her bra around her luscious breasts, and slipped her blouse back on. She left it unbuttoned but it was small consolation to me, my confused brain and my aching cock.

"JD, I really like you but I vowed not to sleep with another man until my divorce was final."

The hurt puppy look in my eyes must have been quite obvious, since she quickly added, "I didn't mean for things to go this far but you made me so hot. But I'll make it up to you, I promise."

I was still confused. How could she make it up to me if she had just covered the object of my desires…that luscious body of hers?

As I was still reeling from the incredibly intense action just minutes before, she began to kiss me again. Then she said something that sounded strange.

"JD, take your clothes off and lie on the bed." #

Huh, I thought. Maybe it was all the blood rushing to a lower part of my body, but I couldn't figure out what was going on.

As I stripped, she watched me intently. Soon enough I was naked, my raging cock seeming obscene in front of a clothed woman like that. I lay down on the bed as directed.

Lisa started kissing my face, then my neck and chest as she worked her way down. She kissed all around my ribcage and abs, as if she wanted to make sure I was aroused enough.

In the meantime, my cock bobbed up and down with every heartbeat. It was so hard, it pointed almost directly to my belly button. Soon her cheek was rubbing up against it, although she made no point to kiss it. She continued kissing my hips and all around, avoiding my cock entirely.

I thought I'd black out from the sensation when she finally licked along the shaft up to the head of my cock. With one smooth motion, she slipped the head between her lips, trapping it in the velvety, smooth prison of her mouth.

I was in heaven and fought off cumming on the spot!

Lisa was caressing me as her head bobbed up and down on my cock. She pumped me with her right hand as I began to build towards orgasm. Her lips still engulfed the head, but her small hand stroked the rest of my cock, slick with her saliva. The sensation was incredible. Within a few seconds I began to stiffen as my cum erupted like a volcano. Lisa pulled her head back just enough to send the first jet into the air, landing squarely on the headboard behind me. She continued to pump my cock as I shot half a dozen more spurts, most of them landing on my chest and stomach.

Her soft hands continued to caress and stroke as my orgasm subsided. She played with my balls gently and milked every last drop of cum from my shaft. Then, when I thought I couldn’t experience anything more erotic, Lisa leaned down and licked the last drop off my glans, bathing the head one last time in the moist warmth of her mouth.

Lisa got up and retrieved a towel from the bathroom. She lovingly wiped the cum off my body. She then cleaned off the headboard before taking the towel back to the bathroom. She came back and lay on the bed next to me, kissing me sweetly and pressing her clothed body against my naked flesh.

Somehow, I knew we had shared a special moment.

After a good bit of time, maybe ten minutes or so, she got up and announced she had to leave early in the morning to her next job at a mall in North Florida. Even though I knew we'd shared something special, it would probably be the last time I'd see her.

Although this was not a true Clothed Female, Nude Male (CFNM) situation, I knew I was hooked. The ‘feeling of power’ she had over me as she remained fully clothed was more arousing for me than any aphrodisiac. She was able to maintain control of the situation while giving me such intense pleasure.

It was an experience I will strive to replicate again and again in my lifetime.

Thank you Lisa for unleashing such intense feelings in me.

The Return of STFU Friday

yep, after all the whining this week from yours truly, i'm back to my old self. i thought it was fitting to return to Shut the fuck up Friday. here i pour my heart out on my blog, and not one woman offered to have sloppy sex with me to make me feel better. sheesh.

i mean, what are we coming to as a country? it used to be, some guy blows snot-bubbles all over the bar over some lost love or whatever, and he'd be guaranteed some real wild sex from some chick, maybe even two, and all for free. free i say. you guys are going to force me to have to go pay for sex. and to be honest, Mrs. JD just charges me way too much.

well, if i don't start feeling some love around her, i may just have to break out Fluffy again. some of you have seen me do it before, it's not pretty, but i feel i have no choice. and for the fucking newbies, Fluffy's in the archive somewhere. go find him, then you'll see the wrath of Fluffy unleashed. he is, after all, destroyer of worlds.

so, maybe, just maybe one of you will take one for the team and volunteer to drive down here and take care of JD and Mr. Happy's needs. i mean, it can't possible take more than five or ten minutes, how hard can it be? it's not like i'm asking for much. we won't even have to cuddle or anything. in fact, a handjob or BJ would suffice. and then we'd all be happy knowing that Fluffy won't have to rear his ugly head.

anyway, for some of you, thanks for nothing. you all have excuses that basically suck ass. "oh JD, i live in a foreign country and it costs too much to fly there for just a blowjob." or "oooh JD, my hubby doesn't like me performing oral sex on strange me..." sheesh, if i had a nickel every time i heard one of those...

well, the guy in the pic pretty much sums it up best. how about a nice cup of STFU (with a huge dose of sarcasm). hey wait, doesn't that cause cancer?

to the rest of you i still like, have a nice weekend. and for the others, i hope you take some time to ponder these words of wisdom from good ole JD these next few days.

HNT Blues

After yesterday's post, I thought it would be appropriate to do something edifying. I've always loved the Blues. They seem fitting on a day like today. They can uplift, motivate, yet give you that comforting bluesy feeling. Someone asked to see my legs, after the arms pic, so I thought I'd post a pic of them. It's not as explicit as some of the pics I've posted, which is a good thing, LOL. Hope you get a laugh and a deeper appreciation on the article about the Blues. And I'm sure you'll get a giggle out of the tree stumps I call legs. Playing soccer for 38 years hasn't exactly helped... ;)

HOW TO SING THE BLUES
by Lame Mango Washington
(Attributed to Memphis Earlene Gray with help from Uncle Plunky, revisions by Little Blind Patti D. and Dr. Stevie Franklin)
1. Most Blues begin, "Woke up this morning."
2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, 'less you stick something nasty in the next line, like "I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town."
3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it.
Then find something that rhymes .... sort of:
"Got a good woman - with the meanest face in town.
Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher - and she weigh 500 pound."
4. The Blues are not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch; ain't no way out.
5. Blues cars: Chevy’s and Cadillacs and broken-down trucks.
Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles.
Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train.
Jet aircraft an' state-sponsored motor pools ain't even in the running.
Walkin' plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.
6. Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues, "adulthood" means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.
7. Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or any place in Canada. Hard times in St. Paul or Tucson is just depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the blues in any place that don't get rain.
8. A man with male pattern baldness ain't the blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg cuz you skiing is not the blues. Breaking your leg cuz an alligator be chomping on it is.
9. You can't have no Blues in an office or a shopping mall -- the lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.
10. Good places for the Blues:
a. highway
b. jailhouse
c. empty bed
d. bottom of a whiskey glass
Bad places:
a. Ashrams
b. gallery openings
c. Ivy League institutions
d. golf courses
11. No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you happen to be an old ethnic person, and you slept in it.
12. Do you have the right to sing the Blues?
Yes, if:
a. you're older than dirt
b. you're blind
c. you shot a man in Memphis
d. you can't be satisfied
No, if:
a. you have all your teeth
b. you were once blind but now can see
c. the man in Memphis lived
d. you have a retirement plan or trust fund
13. Blues is not a matter of color. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the blues. Gary Coleman could. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the blues.
14. If you ask for water and Baby give you gasoline, it's the Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are:
a. wine
b. whiskey or bourbon
c. muddy water
d. black coffee
The following are NOT Blues beverages:
a. mixed drinks
b. kosher wine
c. Snapple
d. sparkling water
15. If it occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse, and dying lonely on a broken down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or getting liposuction.
16. Some Blues names for women:
a. Sadie
b. Big Mama
c. Bessie
d. Fat River Dumpling
17. Some Blues names for men:
a. Joe
b. Willie
c. Little Willie
d. Big Willie
18. Persons with names like Brad, Reno, Biff, Sierra, Sequoia, Buffy, Auburn, and Rainbow can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.
19. Make your own Blues name (starter kit):
a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.)
b. first name (see "a" above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi, etc.)
c. last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.)
For example, Blind Lime Jefferson, or Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, etc. (Well, maybe not "Kiwi"...)
20. I don't care how tragic your life: you own a computer, you cannot sing the blues. You best destroy it. Fire, a spilled bottle of Mad Dog, or get out a shotgun. Maybe your big woman just done sat on it. I don't care.
21. Hey there, you can READ! This too be a big ol' problem. Most folks singin' the Blues ain't never had much a chance for education. In the Blues… the three R's stand or Railroads, Runnin' and Rehab.
________________________________________






I just love the Blues. Something about them just makes me so sad though…

Tribute to a Mentor, Friend, and Comrade in Arms

today is the memorial service of a mentor and friend of mine. i served under his command for a while and he's been a friend for almost two decades. i know it's WIOW, but i just can't seem to get into the right mood for it. as a tribute to my friend, i'm posting this pic instead. in a strange sort of way, i feel like he would've loved this pic. he was larger than life, from his loud voice, to his huge bearhugs, and even the way he entered a room. he was one of those John Wayne kind of guys, without trying to be.

he was a brother in arms and a great commander. in my own, fucked up sort of way, this is my final salute to him. he, more than anyone else, would've understood what i was trying to say, he always did. it was an honor for me to have served under his command. Godspeed Bill.

Confessions of a Metrosexual

Okay, I didn't know what that was until about a year ago when a friend of my daughter mentioned it about himself. And yes, we have a nagging suspicion that he's gay. But I kinda did the metrosexual thing this weekend. Turns out that the older kids wanted to go to the movies. When I drop them off, the 18 year old Swedish exchange student we have staying with us decides she'd rather hang out at the mall with me. Well, I added the part "with me", I just think she wanted to go to the mall.

Ever see the movie "The New Guy"? That scene where Eliza Dushku goes shopping and models bikinis for D.J. Quall? That was us, except she was modeling sun dresses. If you've never seen that movie, rent it, it's hilarious and the guys in your life will thank you for that scene alone…

Anyway, here I am, helping a nubile blonde with tits out to here (32DD) try and find something to wear for a function she has to attend. Let's just say, all my recommendations were quite sexy. ;) She actually liked all the dresses I was suggesting she try on, she may go back and buy one of them this weekend. Anyway, it was funny seeing everyone's reaction as we walked by, I guess they assumed she was with me. LMAO. She's actually very sweet and I don't think she realizes how hot she is.

On the way into the mall, some douche bag white kid was sitting on a bench outside the entrance, smoking. He was dressed like some NBA star, in a red silky tank top and matching shorts. He smiled and nodded to my companion, doing his best impression of Joey from Friends ("how you doin'?"). Well, on our way back out, he was still sitting there, smoking, still trying to pick up any woman that walked thru the doors. What a loser. If you know a guy like that, or your kid tries to be like that, do the world a favor and tell him to get a fucking clue.

In the mall was the classic assortment of hoes, sluts, bitches, gangsta wannabees, and posers. What the fuck is happening with our youth? We laughed our asses off at all of them, especially this one kid who looked like he was two quarters shy of 50 Cent.

I guess I should be thankful they were all there, it certainly gave us lots to laugh about. I really need to spend more time in the mall. LOL. Anyway, found Mrs. JD several gifts for Mother's Day. Can't go wrong with Bath and Bodyworks stuff, hehe. Oh yeah, and bought her this bitchin' Dooney and Burke purse. Yep, that's the metrosexual part, I actually thought it was cute and she'd love it. We have way too much estrogen in our house. Anyway, it was so nice, I ended up giving it to her yesterday. She'd been down about something and I told her she could pretend this was an early Mother's Day present. Hey, it got me laid, so don't knock it. ;)

So, if some guy were to read this, maybe by accident, chicks dig that sensitive side. It doesn't hurt too bad to pretend to have one once in a while…

Happy Half Nekkid Thursday Again

gawd i'm starting to really love Thursdays. not because of having to post, i'm seriously starting to run out of pics that don't make me want to hurl. i mean it. no, i love visiting all the other blogs and seeing all the hotties on HNT. ladies, lovely. just the fact that you're all posting even the slightest bit of skin and putting yourselves out there like that makes it all the sexier. as a small, and i mean, small thanks, i post this pic. since you've seen the rest on WIOW, i thought i'd make it less nekkid for HNT. :)

Whip It Out Wednesday, Already?

sheesh, the pressure. you know how tough it is to have almost three women harping on you to whip it out? okay, two, probably only one, but she's really persistent. i tried to post earlier, no dice. blogger was pissing me off. so now here it is. i was told to post a profile shot. hope this will do. the pressure, gosh! ;)

I got Nada!

yeah i know, i'm being very limp, but i actually have to get some work done, sheesh. bastards expect me to earn my inflated paycheck. can you imagine?

so, as a topic of discussion, latex or lambskin, ribbed or smooth, lubricated or non. feel free to talk amongst yourselves. ;)